Payne, Lillith - His Unconventional Woman (Siren Publishing Classic) Read online

  With that he stood, pulling her up sharply by her shoulders. Holding her at eye level, he searched her face, trying to figure it out. As if a lightning bolt hit him, he saw it in her eyes, releasing her.

  “Is that what he made you do, finish him?”

  She turned her back to him. “It wasn’t the way you’re thinking. What he and I did was consensual. It’s just that we had different ideas about how it should work out.”

  “Dana, if we ever wind up together, it will be because we both want to, not because either one of us is obligated. Do you understand me, Dana?” Only her shoulders moved slightly. “Come on, I’m taking you home.” This time when he lifted her, he cradled her against him, supporting her head with one arm, her legs with the other. When he reached her car, he put her down on the hood. “Let me move the bike. I’ll drive you home.”

  “No.” She jumped from the vehicle. “I can get myself home.” Brushing past him, she got in the driver’s seat. “I’ll be fine, Clay, really.” Her tone carried the conviction of her statement. “I’ve been fine these last years. I’ll continue to take care of myself. I’m just not a conventional woman. Once you accept that we’ll both feel better and move on.”

  Clay became pensive while considering her statement. “Dana, are you sure you don’t prefer women?”

  Now she was just annoyed. “Why does everyone automatically assume I’m a lesbian because I don’t want to get involved with men?” She let out an exasperated breath. “I prefer cock to pussy, Clay. I’ve tried both, so my opinion is an informed one.” Let him think about that for a while, she decided.

  “Then what the hell is the problem, and what exactly do you mean by unconventional? Damn it, Dana, you’ve got me all tied up here and confused. It’s like you want me to a certain point and then you freeze at my touch and back away.” He watched as she straightened her shirt.

  “Just let me go, Clay. Drop the topic and leave me alone, go find some normal woman without my expectations.” Dana’s eyes filled with tears, but she refused to let them fall, sniffing them back, shaking her head at his confusion.

  “One day soon I’d like to hear your definition of normal and conventional.”

  “Be careful what you wish for, Clay. You won’t like the answer, and once you know it you’ll never forget it. You’ll always look at me with a sense of disdain. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.

  The pleading in her eyes broke his heart. Beyond that, he saw the fire that burned within her. She needed to be alone, her embarrassment evident. “On one condition,” He was about to say he’d follow her, but changed it to, “You have twenty minutes to get home. If my cell phone doesn’t ring, I’ll come and find you.” He tried to lighten her mood, teasing her.

  “No phone call. Move the bike or I’ll back over it.” Something inside Dana had changed. She was angry, but he wasn’t sure if it was directed at him or not. “Okay, I’ll move it.” Backing away slowly, he moved the bike to the side, watching as she backed out the rutted dirt road onto the macadam. As soon as she made the turn, she was gone in a flash. The blue bullet was a blur in the distance.

  Clay let his body fall over the front of the bike, carrying his weight. The sky had gone black. The stars were just starting appear. He knew having had a taste of her, there was no going back. How could he convince her that he truly loved her? Clay put on his helmet and slowly headed home. Once in the door, the light was flashing on his machine.

  “Duty call, Clay. I made it home.” There was a long silence as he waited for her to slam down the phone. Instead, he thought he heard her whisper “I’m sorry” before the machine clicked off.

  Replaying the message over and over, Clay swore if he ever found Dana’s last boyfriend, he’d finish him, only not the way he was used to getting it. In a fit of anger, he brushed his arm along the table. The answering machine and telephone went flying until they impacted with the worn pine floor.

  “Jeez,” he said aloud to no one but himself.

  Dana was filling her cart with spice jars and canned goods. Lots of soup, crackers, peanut butter, tuna fish, and pasta. She openly acknowledged her luck-of-the-draw genetics when it came to her weight. She ate responsibly, but she loved her carbs. Exercise evened it all out in the end. Lisa was ahead of her in the aisle, dumping things into her cart.

  “Lisa, it’s summer. I’ll use fresh tomatoes.”

  “Sure you will, when you bother to shop again.” They had worked their way across the large grocery, both carts full. “Regular or nonfat milk?”

  “Regular, please, only two quarts.”

  Adam awoke from his slumber in the carrier seat. Dana went to him, taking him onto her shoulder while she tried to explain to Lisa that she didn’t need two-dozen eggs.

  Clay turned the corner as she drew the baby onto her shoulder. His mouth went dry and he backtracked from the aisle. He walked straight out the door, opting to lean against Lisa’s Mercedes. That was where they found him, twenty minutes later.

  “Hello, what are you doing here?” Lisa asked, pulling back from a hug.

  “I was running errands, saw your car, and figured you might need a hand.”

  Taking the keys from her, Clay opened the trunk, sizing up the cargo space with the bags stuffed into the two carts. His eyes flashed from one to the other, finally breaking into laugher.

  “A challenge! I always excelled at a challenge!” He was more talking to himself than to Lisa or Dana. As he stuffed the trunk, Lisa went to air out the car, turning the air conditioning up high. Adam was in Dana’s arms when Uncle Leo and Aunt Mary spotted them.

  “Look out, ladies.” Clay choked back a laugh. “You’ve got company,” he teased. The large hand was on her shoulder before his words had time to register.

  “Hello, precious.” Dana froze at the term of endearment. “Hi, Dana, how’s the big guy doing?” Uncle Leo went on talking to the sleepy baby as Dana realized who stood behind her. Her eyes involuntary closed as the wave of nausea passed through her.

  “Uncle Leo, Aunt Mary, what are you two doing in this part of town?” Her voice was strangled. As her aunt went on about their routine for the day, Dana receded from the conversation.

  Clay saw me freeze at Uncle Leo calling me precious. God, I hate that term, it just reminds me of Walker and blackmail. She kept thinking the same thing over and over. It was Clay who brought her out of her thoughts.

  “Dana, Mary wants to hold Adam.”

  “Oh, of course. I’m as bad as the baby. I need a nap today.”

  Gently she handed the baby to her aunt, rotating her shoulder several times to loosen it from the tense position she had frozen in. Lisa saved her from the rest of the visit, citing too much sun for the baby.

  “Stop by the house on your way home tonight. Dana and Clay are coming over for dessert. I’ll keep the baby awake until you get there.” With hugs and smiles all around, they were finally left alone. Lisa fastened Adam into his car seat, and then rounded the back of the car.

  “Thanks for loading the groceries, Clay. And we’ll see you at seven thirty.”

  “What? No.” He was laughing, knowing he was caught.

  “No deserters allowed. Both of you had better be on my patio tonight before Mary and Leo arrive, or else.”

  “Spoken like a true Britton.” Clay gave her a mock salute as she slipped into the driver’s seat. “See you later, kid.”

  Dana sat in the car wondering how she could get through the evening with Clay in the room, during the ride home. She was embarrassed on so many levels. How could she explain to Clay she had taken control of the situation, ended the relationship, had left it behind? How could she tell him she wanted to touch him in her own way? Pretending to be asleep kept the conversation to a minimum on the ride home. She begged off joining them for supper, reminding Lisa of the carload of groceries she had to sort and put away. Wanting to enjoy the menial task, she promised to come for coffee.

  Clay was early. He wanted a few minutes with Lisa befo
re anyone one else got there. Dana was nowhere around, yet. He had to work quickly.

  “Jeff, what are you serving tonight, a white or a red?”

  “Hadn’t thought about it yet, guess it’s time to decide, any requests?”

  “White. Too many sulfites in the red. I don’t need a headache.” As the statement left his lips, Lisa would have sworn Dana’s voice spoke them. Both Lisa and Jeff exchanged a confused look. Clay never voiced an opinion about wine in the past.

  “White it is.” Jeff was shaken as he left them in the living room.

  “Lisa, what do you really know about the last guy Dana dated in New York?” Closing the distance between them, lowering his tone, he sat across from her. “Who was he, Lisa?”

  Startled by the anger she saw in his face, Lisa wondered just what had happened with this guy. “All I really know is his name was Walker.”

  “Walker what?”

  “I don’t remember just now. Clay, what’s going on?”

  “How long?”

  “They dated for a year, I guess.” Lisa was uncomfortable with the topic. “Why is this so important?”

  “I just need to know.” Clay stood and walked to the fireplace, leaning his elbow on the mantle. With his back to Lisa, he chose his words carefully.

  “I think if I understood a little about him, it might be easier to…to understand Dana.”

  “God, Clay, did he hurt her?” Turning, he saw the color fade from her cheeks.

  “Don’t panic. It’s not that bad, but I think he was definitely the bully type. Hell, I just don’t know. My mind keeps coming up with different scenarios, and I want to hurt this guy. But I need to know what and why he acted the way he did with Dana that turned her off to sex.” He let out a breath. “I know deep inside it’s better to let her explain her feelings in her own time and way than to push her when she’s not ready. That will get me nowhere fast, but it’s frustrating not to have the answers.”

  “I have her letters and cards packed away. I could go through them tomorrow, see what I can find for you.” Lisa took a deep breath, before continuing. “Clay, if I help you, will you hurt him?”

  Her question rocked him to the core. “There’s a part of me that wants to, yes.”

  “Then I can’t help you. Dana put it behind her. You’ll have to work it out with her.”

  “Lisa, please, just check the letters. I’m looking for a pattern of any kind.”

  “What about Jeff?” Lisa asked. “He’s my husband. I won’t lie. If you go after Walker, Jeff will be at your side. Then what? What will Dana think if she finds out?”

  “I’m not asking you to lie to Jeff. I’m asking for help to understand why Dana goes…cold.” He shut his eyes, trying to block out the pain he saw in her eyes that night at the river house.

  “Frigid?”

  Clay slammed his fist onto the mantel, seeing the picture too clearly in his mind. Lisa realized she had used a different word, knowing she had given Dana away. Sinking into her chair, she closed her eyes, fighting back the revolting thoughts that ran through her mind.

  “She ended it, Clay. She was the one who walked away.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, definitely, it was a year ago, summer. I remember her letters, she pushed it off to incompatibility of schedules, but still she left him.”

  “Thank God.” Clay looked to Lisa. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to drag you into this, but I didn’t want to ask Jeff. Lisa, don’t bother to look at the letters. You’re right. She left him, it’s behind her.” Suddenly he realized the compromising position he’d put her in.

  “Now you have to learn how to put it behind you.”

  “Put what behind him?” Dana teased, breezing into the room. “It’s a cute behind, what are you going to do with it?” She walked to Clay, slapped his rear as she went to hug Lisa. “What have I missed?”

  “I lost the bid on a tract of land I was looking at. Not important.” He walked away from the fireplace, choosing to sit across from Dana and Lisa. “Did you get all your groceries put away?” This was the first time in his life he’d lied to her, and it fell so easily from his lips. The concept bothered him, but he also knew if he told her they were discussing Walker and the possibility of him finding him to create physical damage, she’d hit the roof. Somewhere in the future he’d tell her the truth, but not tonight.

  “No to the groceries. But, at least I got the cold stuff in the refrigerator. The rest can wait. I chose to take William for a ride and then a swim instead.”

  Clay knew she had him hooked. Her hair was freshly blown dry, left loose and fluffy. His eyes traveled down to the flesh toned halter-top she wore. He remembered the feel of her against his hand, against his lips. Her long, low rider silk pants matched the top. She wore no jewelry or makeup, and of course, she was barefoot. She was simply the woman he loved.

  Jeff came back with the wine as his aunt and uncle arrived. “Heads up, folks.”

  “One drink, Lisa, and I’m out of here.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Oh, no you don’t, either of you. Besides, where are you going?” she asked Dana. “Mary and Leo will surely want to see how you’ve decorated the guesthouse.” Dana rolled her eyes as she looked to Clay.

  “Help me here!” Turning back, she smiled at Lisa. “Be nice or Aunty Dana will wake up the baby, big time.” A lazy grin formed on her lips. “I think I should wake him up and keep him up until he’s so off schedule, you’ll never know day from night again.”

  “You wouldn’t!” Lisa said with mock horror.

  “No, probably not. But it’s a thought for future reference. I’ll file it until he’s older.”

  “You’re both on your own,” Clay told them as the company wandered into the room.

  “Good God, Dana. How do you keep those pants on?” Aunt Mary asked. Dana went to her, hugging her lightly.

  “Simple, double sided tape!” Everyone in the room paused, then she burst out laughing. “God, it’s good to be home, you are all so gullible.”

  Chapter Ten

  Parking the Corvette behind the BMW at the head of the driveway, Clay stood for a long time, looking at the outside of the old Britton Mansion. The brick structure was still sound, he knew this from the reading the reports from Dana’s outside contractor. The eight columns that spanned the front of the house were intact, but in need of repair. The second floor balcony would need replacing as well as the railings on both levels.

  He saw that windows were boarded up in places, and a chill ran through him as he realized the amount of vandalism that had occurred since the last time he had been there. Walking up the wide brick stairway, he turned, knowing a good crew could prune the trees and work the flower beds back into shape with some hard work. That’s what he saw, a lot of work to be done. Dana had been right to give herself the five-year plan.

  The ceiling of the wide veranda had no paint left, only a patch or two of the original teal blue color peeked from under the rafters. He knew she would go to great lengths to have the color matched. The front door was propped open with a stack of books. Entering the gloomy hall, he could envision Dana’s idea of bringing the old place back to life, giving it a second chance. Drapes had been drawn back, and dust motes filled the air around him, vivid in the harsh rays of sunlight spilling through the few remaining unbroken windows.

  Dana stood at the top of the staircase watching him. She was in the second floor master bedroom taking measurements when she heard the car pull up. For long seconds she had frozen in place. First, she wanted to hide, surely there were places in the old house where she could keep away from him. Laughing at her own nerves, she shook it off. Confronting him now, alone, would be better. She had survived seeing him last week at the grocery and spending the evening with him, although she had to admit her aunt and uncle were great buffers.

  His hair was trimmed since she last saw him. His clean jeans and boots, along with a button-down shirt, told her he hadn’t come directly fr
om the farm. Leaning on the railing, she watched as he surveyed the space around him. Large tarps covered the crystal chandelier in the center of the great hall, another covering the marble center table. Slowly, he walked to the room on his left, taking a quick look around, then he did the same to the right. Waiting until he was back in the main entry, she finally found her voice.

  “What do you think, Clay? Am I in over my head?”

  His head snapped up, following her voice until he spotted her at the second floor railing. She wondered when he’d realize she was in a business suit instead of comfortable jeans. The jacket was tossed over her computer case on the bottom step along with her purse. The white blouse she wore reflected her tanned skin that peeked from underneath. Her skirt was the same peach color as the jacket she had laid aside. Her hair was pulled back from her face. Looking down at him she envisioned herself coming down the stairs, a long white dress flowing behind her, flowers in her hand. Clearing the ridiculous vision, she listened to the rounded tone of his voice.

  “I’m beginning to think your five-year plan was pretty accurate.”

  Slowly she descended the wide staircase, her right hand lightly grazing the mahogany banister. “I’m beginning to think I was overly optimistic,” she teased. At the bottom, she paused, wondering what to say or do next. He came to me, let him guide us, she decided.

  “I can’t offer you much in the way of refreshments. I haven’t had the power turned on yet.” She was nervous, and her voice faltered.

  Slowly, he turned to her, opening his arms to her.

  Dana saw him open his arms. She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, his body close to hers. Choosing a slight alternative, she went to him, giving him a warm hug, but backing away quickly.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I was in town. I was curious about the old place. You’ve been talking about it so much lately, I figured I’d come see for myself.”

  “Want the tour?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” Slipping her arm through his, she gave him the smile his visit brought to her being.